Caution: this post may have come in contact with anaphylaxis-inducing sarcasm.
Perhaps here in Canada we don’t go as far as the good old U.S. of Eh? in being litigation-paranoid. But we still get some pretty goofy labels. Case in point — here’s one I spotted tonight…
On the inside, it reads in tiny print:
Dear peanut-loving (or -hating) customer,
We’re really very sorry for our lackadaisical process monitoring. But we thought you should know — it’s possible (the floor manager tells me it’s likely; I wouldn’t go so far) that your Salted Roasted Peanuts may have come in contact with peanuts and/or nuts. Sorry. We really are. We (probably) screwed up and we know it.
How could this happen, you ask? I am as shocked as you are, and am demanding answers from my subordinates, who so far have closed up about this. You can rest assured that when I find out, heads will roll (or tongues will loll). If you, faithful customer, do find any peanuts in this package, please return the entire container for a full refund. In future we’ll try harder to ensure your next pack of peanut-free peanuts meets your exacting standards. Then we’ll all breathe a sigh of relief.
– Anna Filacks, Customer Regret Manager