Great. Now how am I supposed to get clean? Turns out I’m not supposed to climb into the washing machine to have my weekly rinse (whether-I-need-it-or-not). Guess I’ll have to go back to one of my previous methods — “dry cleaning” with compressed air and a vacuum cleaner, or scrubbing down with kerosene and a wire brush and then hopping into the oven to dry off.
Thankfully, we’re not quite as lawsuit-prone in Canada as our southern neighbours, but we still have some pretty paranoid signs and warning labels. You especially notice this (in contrast) when you go somewhere like Spain, where I’ve walked along cliff-tops with no warnings at all (¿Un guard-rail? ¿Qué es eso?). In Portugal, I walked along the narrow, crumbling wall of a castle which did have a railing, presumably to keep people from falling over the edge. The only problem was that this metal fence was at shin height (!), so it only made it extra-likely people would trip over it and tumble off the ramparts!
Perhaps my life-long exposure to warnings, cautions and advisories are what make me want to try exactly the things they warn me against. Like a kid, if someone tells me I can’t do something, I always ask…”Why not?” Some day, when my cell phone no longer works after I “recharge it” in the microwave; when I brush my teeth with (or find some other “internal use” for) sunscreen; when I go for a swim within a half-hour of eating; it will all catch up to me, I’m sure.