Do you ever have those hyper-real dreams, where you’re convinced what you’re experiencing is real? Not a lucid dream — that’s when you are aware that you are dreaming — just one that’s so good that it convinces you it’s reality. At least, until you wake up to bitter disappointment (or to utter relief, depending on what you were dreaming about!).

Last night I had a great dream. Not unlike a flying dream, because I felt so free. But instead of flying, I was…skateboarding! No, I’m not a “boarder” these days (full disclosure: I did go through a brief phase twenty years ago). Anyhow, this was great, because I had this motorized device, a Segway crossbred with a skateboard. I was going to say a “Segway on steroids” — because that’s a fun expression — but in fact it was more like a “Segway on Atkins“, because this thing didn’t weigh 40kg! In fact, you could carry it under your arm (though why would you want to?). It was nothing like this. (Aside: you can make the AIRBOARD as “easy or as difficult to ride as you like” — now why would you want to make it difficult? Imagine marketing cars this way!)

My dream-ride looked like a thick skateboard. It had four wheels, a tilting platform and you didn’t have to lean to go in the direction you wanted to. I never figured out how it worked (in dream or real life), but it truly seemed that you merely had to think about where you wanted to go and it managed to go there. You couldn’t fall off; you’d step on with one wavering foot and it would adapt. And super-light, sans vertical handle, with a long battery life and all the rest that would make Dean Kamen green with envy.

Oh yeah, to show how whacked-out my brain is, here’s the dream-name it came up with for the device: The NetSkate Navigator (not to be confused with…well, you know!).

May 2006 be a year of dreamy, light-footed freedom for all! And may all your connections be tenuous! Hmm, on second thought: Hopefully some of your connections be solid and enduring. But others should remain delightfully tenuous…as Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) said:

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells . . . and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.
   – Theodor Geisel

We need to remember (how) to do that, since sometimes there is way too much “reality” out there! Have a great year; even better — make it a great year!

On Friday, December 23rd, I received a letter. I saved it to open for Christmas (I had an inkling of what it was). It was from Zoetrope All-Story magazine. From the Editor, Michael Ray. It was my first-ever rejection letter as a writer! And — what are the odds? — on my first-ever magazine submission! I was so excited…I knew there was no way I would be accepted by this prestigious magazine that publishes around 30 stories per year out of 15,000 submissions (including many by known authors). But it was a reminder to myself that I’ve crossed a certain threshold by actually doing something — passed a rite of initiation into this strange cult of writing. I received a personal letter that, although it didn’t offer much direction of how to improve my story, clearly indicated he had at least read it. He even said my decision to unfold the story from a particular character’s perspective was “an inspired one”. (And yes, also that the narrative could “benefit from a good deal of paring”.)

I never would have guessed that rejection could be so inspiring. I’ve neglected my creative writing (blog not included) over the past month or two, but now I want to refocus my efforts and try to get some more rejections! (-;

Just to prove that I am (slowly) learning to play the guitar, the djembe and the cajón (and dusting off my keyboard “skills”), here is a little Christmas ditty…estilo jardinero zurdo… All instruments are played by me (but over many takes, as you can imagine!).

  GodRestYe.wma - 2.0 Mb

It’s not perfect, nor finished (these little projects never are) — but a fun afternoon project nonetheless!

The “End of Food” has come at last…

It’s been awhile since I did one of these vocabulary posts…but just because I wasn’t posting doesn’t mean I stopped learning my vocab! No…in fact, today I finally finished the last of “los alimentos”. Obviously I still don’t know every food-related Spanish word, but I found the menus made a lot more sense during my last trip to Spain. A number of the terms I learned are highly “cultural” — referring to things we don’t eat or aren’t even available here (e.g. la mojama, la sobrasada, el choco). It’s been a long haul (about two months), and 310 words later I’m at the end of the food words!

(The verb escurrir doesn’t rhyme with día, so I took the liberty of conjugating it in the pretérito imperfecto…”I used to drain…”)

escurrir — to drain. I found this hard to remember. My “trick” (let me know if you have a better one!) is that you’re letting the water escape down the drain. If I get the first part of the word, the rest usually is easy.

rebanar — to slice or cut up. Another non-obvious one! There is bañar (to bathe), but no banar, so re-banar can’t help us. My own memorization trick uses the French word rabais, which is a discount or reduction (i.e. “cut”) in the price. May be odd, but works for me.

rebañar — no, it doesn’t mean to “bathe again”, but to wipe clean or mop up. Martín tenía tan hambre que rebañó el plato limpia como una patena. — Martin was so hungry he practically licked the plate clean. (A patena — paten in English — is a fancy plate used to serve communion, so limpia como una patena is a colloquial expression which obviously expresses extreme cleanliness. I suppose we’d translate this to “clean as a whistle”, but I’m not sure they use those in communion. Also, frankly I’m not sure whistles represent the best hygienic role models!) Funny how one little accent can give something a completely different meaning. Much to my chagrin, this word still can’t trace its origin to bañar! In fact, it confusingly shares its Latin origin with the previous word, which has a completely different meaning… Sigh.

Is there anything missing from your pastoral Nativity scene? “Nope, nothing,” you say. Are you sure? Let’s do the tally: you’ve got Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, some shepherds, an angel or two, some lowing cattle and maybe even a trio of wise guys.

But how about a festive little defecator? That’s right, someone hidden away behind a tree or in a shady corner of the barn, “just being natural” and fertilizing the earth? Have you got one of those?

If you’re Catalan, then the answer is probably: “sí”. El caganer is a little guy they like to hide somewhere in the pessebre (Nativity scene). He is said to symbolize fertility (of the earth, at least!), good health, good fortune and peace of mind.

Frankly, I’m not a big fan of “bathroom humour” (though I must sheepishly disclose I almost titled this post Ho ho ho…plop!). I do enjoy irreverence, however, and I have to say that I find this quirky tradition to be quite…er…wholesome. So, while in Barcelona recently (in early December; the perfect time to visit la Fira de Santa Llúcia in front of Barcelona’s cathedral), I shopped around and bought a few caganers for myself and “lucky” friends.

Speaking of bathroom humour, Catalans have at least one other scatological Christmas tradition. It’s the Caga Tió, which gives a new meaning to the term “Christmas log”. While I was at the Fira, I witnessed large groups of children chanting and beating a giant Tió with sticks, hoping to inspire him to give them lots of presents. I have to admit that such chanting and violent acting-out is more something I would have expected from spoiled North American kids…

You can read more about Catalan Christmas traditions here.

Right here, apparently! I missed it, since I was out of town, but it seems the roof of the Université du Québec’s Henri-Julien building burned last Wednesday. Hopefully this won’t affect the rooftop garden that exists nearby on the lower part of the building. Anyhow, this is a bit close to home — I just popped out to take a photo of how it looks today…

The magic lights of Montréal Christmas

A dream of love that makes the world spin

I have to admit (if I don’t, a friend of mine will!) that these trees (below) look an awful lot like some of the ones from Osmose, a ten-year-old virtual reality artwork from artist Char Davies and her team. I sure hope the Ville de Montréal is not ripping them off! (ha ha)